God knows exactly what we need…all the time..I always knew this, but tonight it really hit me.
I was faced with a very tough decision tonight..and I will admit, I was going to make the wrong choice. I knew it was wrong, but I also knew I couldn’t say no. Sometimes when I am tempted, I am strong..I holdfast to what I know is right no matter what I may WANT to do at the time. But most of the time, I am weak…I am getting weaker lately, so it seems. I am not able to make myself flee when temptation arises.
I am constantly at war within myself…I want to do right, but I want to do those things that wrong too… I am truly being tempted in every sense of the word..I honestly do not believe I used to be tempted..at least not in the same way..Everything that I knew was wrong, I just did not want to do..those things did not appeal to me in any way. I am by no means saying I didnt sin I just believe my biggest problem then was not being as active as I should have been in order to grow. But now..now it’s totally different…those things that are bad..those things I used to hate and didn’t want to be any part of…they look good…they look fun..I want to do them…sometimes..I feel I need to do them. I don’t like this feeling..I don’t like the feeling that sometimes I just don’t want to do what God wants me to..it’s hard..and it’s no fun standing alone.
Tonight I was at war again…and the wrong side was winning. I told God that I was sorry, that I knew I should not choose the wrong side, but I just wouldn’t be able to say no..not tonight..
Want to know what He did?
He changed everything! He changed every situation to where I was not even tempted! He knew that I was not strong enough to get myself out of the hole or even to just follow Him out, so He pulled me out Himself!!
The Lord truly is a wonderful and amazing God! If I could only trust Him more..I’m working on it day by day..and with each day He does something new that amazes me!